“Be still, and know that I Am God.”

My second semester here at UNCG began today, and with it came the familiar busyness that I was able to avoid over Christmas break. With the new year, I started a new devotional, My Upmost for His highest, by Oswald Chambers. I was going through Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young in 2013 and this new devotional has a freshness to it that I needed. For the past two days the daily devotional title was this: “Have You Ever Been Alone with God?” The first part of this, which was in yesterday’s devotional, was subtitled “Our Solitude with Him.” As I read I came across one of the many quotable lines that this devotional is littered with on every page that I have read so far. “We can only be used by God after we allow Him to show us the deep, hidden areas of our own character.” Chambers further explains by relating how Jesus interacted with His disciples, to how he interacts with us in the same way. Pulling text from Mark 4:34, Chambers communicates that Jesus did not give His disciples all of the answers right away, but only when they could understand what He was saying. So first, we as followers of Christ are called to accept the calling that we have in our lives without knowing all of the time where we will end up or what trials we will have to face. This takes trust, and trust comes only when we are intimate enough with Christ to trust Him. It takes, as Chambers puts it, that we must accept that we do not understand ourselves nearly enough as our Creator knows and understands us. Once we accept that we are better suited to follow where Christ leads us rather than where we could lead ourselves we begin to change.

I always thought that I was doing quiet time correctly with God. Reading devotionals, the bible, and praying with Him. I have indeed reached an intimacy with Jesus, but this devotional has been opening my eyes and opening a path to allow me to grow even more intimately with Christ. The second part of “Have You Ever Been Alone with God?”, which was today’s devotional, was subtitled this: “His Solitude with Us.” Another quotable line starts off the devotional: “When God gets us alone through suffering, heartbreak, temptation, disappointment, sickness, or by thwarted desires, a broken friendship, or a new friendship- when He gets us absolutely alone, and we are totally speechless, unable to ask even one question, then He begins to teach us.”

My heart leapt through my chest when I read this. I have indeed been in awe of the Creator in His presence, without words. But after a few moments of basking in His glory I would begin to pray and interrupt that river of peace and grace that was flowing into me. This happens often, and I still get a lot out of my quiet time, but I am realizing that I have been missing a crucial part. When I read that line today it immediately drew my thoughts to Psalm 46:10. “Be still, and know that I am God.” I never knew how to be still because I am so often in a distracting place when I do my quiet time, (too ironic to joke about) I will sit in a coffee shop with my headphones in and read the Word and pray quietly. But I have been missing the opportunity to be still, and let God be God. Of course God wants us to study His Word diligently and praise Him with song, but this devotional has and is opening my eyes to the truth that sometimes the highest form of worship and obedience that I can give to God is by sitting in His glory and just listening for what He puts on my heart. That is where I will come to know Him more and become more like Him. If you are looking for a devotional I definitely recommend My Upmost for His Highest, it has, in only thirteen days, greatly increased my intimacy with Christ. God is good.

Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) – Jesus Walks On Water

I have heard this song countless times. It’s always been exceptionally beautiful to me but it really stuck out to me while I was doing my devotional today. It stuck out because I needed to hear it today. Everyday, we are being called to follow Jesus out to places where we will fail if we aren’t walking with Him. This is such an important reminder that we all need to hear.

In Matthew 14:27, Jesus, who was praying on a mountainside, began to walk to his disciples who were in a boat in the middle of the lake. So as expected, these ordinary people who are following Jesus probably are a little freaked out when they see a figure walking on the water towards them. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately, Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshipped him saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

This story is so accurate to our faith. It’s so easy for us to become afraid when we are trying to follow Christ. Satan throws things at us every single day to try and make us sink. Satan tries to tell us that we aren’t good enough, strong enough, or worth enough. And then some of us, take a second, and convince ourselves that maybe he’s right. We look at the waves and wind around us, and we let fear sink in.

When Satan tries to make me sink is when I’m following Jesus the best I ever have. It’s when my week has been awesome and I’m feeling good. For me, Satan reminds me of my past. He tells me that I’m not good enough to follow Jesus, that it doesn’t matter what I do I’m already a failure, or he tries to make me feel alone and worthless. And more often than I like, I sink a little bit. I remember all of the crap I’ve done and how I’m not worthy. Sometimes when I sink, it’s gradual, subtle, I barely notice it. I’ll miss my quiet time one morning and then make it a habit until I snap out of it. But the beautiful part about this is that Jesus is always right next to me, waiting for me to cry out for help when I realize that I can’t do it by myself.

Jesus is right next to you too. Once you start to sink you don’t have to sink deeper, Just call out to Jesus. Because the thing about following Jesus is that He knows we are going to sink. He calls us to do things that we absolutely cannot do on our own. It’s the best part about our walk with Christ, not only do we have Him to depend on, but when we fail in following Him, he picks us up, brushes us off, and sends us back onto the water, stronger than we ever were.

Where feet may fail.

It’s raining a lot today in Greensboro and it has given me a perfect opportunity to get into the word, and to reflect on my walk with Christ thus far. I began to think about one of the hardest things that I have had to overcome to continue following Jesus. For me, the hardest thing that I had to overcome was having someone who I love dearly, and who I was poured into by continuously, someone who showed me the very nature of Christ everyday tell me that he no longer believes in what he told me was so life-giving. Earlier this year I can honestly say that hearing that news wrecked my world, although to everyone who knew of the situation I pretended like it didn’t affect me. No one knew that it left me feeling lost and defeated. It’s such a hopeless and empty feeling knowing that people we love so much and people who have experienced the beautiful life that Jesus offers them and even convinced you that Jesus is worth it, turn their backs on the faith and when in a leadership role they kind of turn their back on you.

While I was doing work crew at a Young Life camp called Frontier Ranch this summer, the camp speaker, Steve Chesney, told the staff about one of the most overlooked men in the Bible. A man named Demas.

We first read of Demas in Colossians 4:7, where Paul is tying up his letter of encouragement to the congregation in Colossae. “Tychicus will tell you all the news about me. He is a dear brother, a faithful minister and fellow servant in the Lord.  I am sending him to you for the express purpose that you may know about our circumstances and that he may encourage your hearts. He is coming with Onesimus, our faithful and dear brother, who is one of you. They will tell you everything that is happening here. My fellow prisoner Aristarchus sends you his greetings, as does Mark, the cousin of Barnabas. (You have received instructions about him; if he comes to you, welcome him.) Jesus, who is called Justus, also sends greetings. These are the only Jews among my co-workers for the kingdom of God, and they have proved a comfort to me. Epaphras, who is one of you and a servant of Christ Jesus, sends greetings. He is always wrestling in prayer for you, that you may stand firm in all the will of God, mature and fully assured. I vouch for him that he is working hard for you and for those at Laodicea and Hierapolis. Our dear friend Luke, the doctor, and Demas send greetings.” The first thing we can inquire in regards to Demas is this: Why does Paul go into detail about everyone he is with except for Demas?

Next we read about Demas in the small book of Philemon, in which Paul is writing another letter to a man named Philemon. “Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, sends you greetings.  And so do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas and Luke, my fellow workers. Once again, no attributes about Demas, no comments on his outstanding service, it’s almost as if Demas is just there. He’s with Paul but he isn’t doing anything astounding or in Paul’s perspective worth mentioning.

The last time we hear about Demas in the Bible is in 2 Timothy 4:9 in which Paul is writing, yep you guessed it, a letter to Timothy. In Paul’s conclusion to the letter we finally hear some substantial information about Demas. “Do your best to come to me quickly, for Demas, because he loved this world, has deserted me and has gone to Thessalonica.” Now we can begin to draw some conclusions in regards to Demas’ walk with Christ. Maybe he started out doing great and on fire for Jesus, what we may describe as a “Jesus high”. But slowly, the world started weighing him down, as his faith and motivation decreased Demas gave less of himself to Christ and more of himself to the world. Demas began to doubt himself, and in a confusing down spiral, he abandoned his faith and brothers and sisters in Christ completely by moving to Thessalonica. Demas knew Jesus. At some point in time, Demas was head over heels for Christ and was serving him because if he wasn’t we can probably draw the conclusion that he would have never been with Paul in the first place.

After I heard about Demas, when my session at Frontier was over, I went home and did more research on Demas. Looking into the Bible, and several commentaries. To all Christians who have lost brothers and sisters in Christ to the world, Demas acts as a biblical parallel to them.

Now having this knowledge does not really comfort me about my friends who have turned from the faith, my heart breaks for them daily. But in some way it has helped me get past it, because I now know that these things are going to happen. The world is unfortunately satan’s playground. Upon sending out the disciples in Matthew 10:16 Jesus says this “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.” This verse and many others found in the Bible candidly say that following Jesus will not be easy to any extent; rather that it will be the hardest thing that you can do, the world will be against you, as will satan and his demons. In addition in John 15:18 Jesus says this: “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.” Yes we as followers of Christ are following the hardest path that you can take in life. To deny literally the world and follow Jesus instead, to be hated, rebuked, and laughed at.

So being the hardest path to take available, and in worldly regards, offering virtually no recognition or reward it is expected that some people who taste the freedom of Christ and even come to know Him will fall away. When we allow anger in our hearts and unroot ourselves from Christ we cannot possibly hope to stand against the world and it’s temptations, let alone spiritual forces of evil who mean to counter the gospel with any means necessary.

In our walk with Christ we will witness people who we know, and love dearly, and maybe even people who have mentored us, be consumed by the world and turn their back on Christ. The bright side to this, and what I use to console myself is this:  Jesus does not nor will He ever turn His back on them. He is right there waiting for them, whispering in their ear that He still loves them, and that they can come home. I have moved past dwelling on it, I now bring them to the feet of Jesus daily in prayer. Having faith that the Lord’s plan is sovereign over mine, that what is out of my hands is in Christ’s loving, gentle, healing hands.

An adventure for two.

Well today was my first full day at UNC-Greensboro. I began the day at about 6:30 am when I realized I had lost my wallet. Two hours of frantic searching later I found it in my dorm room in a random drawer. After this happened, I went to my car after I received a phone call from a woman saying that I needed to move it. When I got there I had been issued two parking tickets both for $50, one from 8:34 last night and the other at 7:20 this morning. So it’s my first day at college I lose my wallet, and get two parking tickets.

My day was not going so great to say the least. Coming to college is a pretty big transition in life. I’m going from years of familiarity and routine to a new town, with new people, and new responsibilities. Today, if I’m being honest I have felt pretty lonely. If you’re reading this and you know me than that probably sounds super weird to you because I’m really social and love people and am not alone often. Through the stressful events of the day and the fact that I don’t know anyone here I kind of just sat in my room and wished I was home, where I could hang out with my friends and where I knew that I could park my car in my driveway and not have to worry about impending tickets. I have been blessed in the fact that it is easy for me to be dependent on something or someone. In regards to my walk with Christ this attribute about me is very helpful. When something goes wrong that is out of my control I turn to Christ almost immediately. So, when I was feeling lonely I decided that I was in need of Jesus and I opened up my Bible.

Two verses from the gospel of John stuck out to me in my reading. The first is John 14:6 :  Jesus answered, “ I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” The reason this verse stuck out to me was because for the entire day I had been going through turmoil and I was trying to make my own way, but Jesus very clearly said “I am THE way”. Notice He doesn’t say ” a way” or “one of the ways” Jesus says that He is the only way. When things go wrong I’m not meant to submit to the world, I am meant to be at Jesus’ feet and trusting in His solution, His way, not mine.

Next Jesus tells us that He is THE truth. All day I have felt so confused and in the dark about my life because I am in this new environment and haven’t made many friends yet and in extension no one that has the same ideals as me. But as a Christian I am not being called to dwell on the uncertainty of the future, I’m being called to have a faith that can move mountains, to trust in the Lord so blindly that it makes me look insane. Jesus said I am THE truth. I am the one you need to dwell on, learn from, trust in and rely on. As Christians we need to have faith in Jesus and know without a doubt that He is the truth and the only truth because if we don’t we miss crucial opportunities that Christ gives us daily to grow with Him. If we don’t have unshakable faith in Jesus than when our lives spiral out of control we have nothing solid to turn to.

Lastly Jesus says I am THE life. With the world I know being back in Elon my way of life has been drastically changed. My day-to-day activities that I am so adapted to are over and I am here at college about to start a new routine. I asked myself when I was reading this verse “what defines my life?” And when being completely honest with myself I decided that my routines, the people I knew, the house I lived in, and where I was defined my life. So once all of those things that were so familiar to me were gone I started feeling lonely. It wasn’t until opening my Bible and turning to Jesus that I felt relief from my worry and comfort, from my loneliness. Jesus said “I am THE life”. He said, I am what gives you strength, I am what keeps you going, I am what gives you identity, joy, and worth. I am what defines you. Not your roommate, not your dorm, not your sin, not your environment, just me. 

Ask yourself: What truly gives you joy and contentment? I think back to my two sessions of work crew and the times I have spent loving others, serving others and putting myself last and others first. When I am so surrounded by selfless servants of Christ that I am saturated in the Spirit of Christ. That is when I feel alive, and I intend to spend my life feeling alive.

The second verse that stuck out to me was John 16:33 : “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Since Christ died for us we are free from this world. We don’t have to follow the worlds standards because Jesus set our standards for us. Because Jesus died I don’t have to fear my future because I know that if I follow Christ wherever He brings me to will bring Him glory and the rest is irrelevant. This freedom is so…. well, freeing! Trust in Jesus and follow where He leads. This may bring you to a place where you feel uncomfortable, in my situation a new campus with new people, that’s good. Jesus dying for us means that we have peace in Him, because we know that if He was big enough conquer the grave and put sin to death than we know that he is big enough to get us where we need to go.

Challenge yourself to put the Kingdom before your comfort.  When you feel lonely and lost, Jesus just wants to show you that He can do it better. When you live your life like Jesus really is the way, the truth, and the life, your uncertain future can turn into an adventure that you and your Constant Companion, Jesus are meant to unravel together.