Choose Humility.

It’s hard to be a Christian. The world we live in has adopted values and ideals that completely conflict with the way we are called to live our lives. Fortunately we are not meant to go through life alone. In the Bible we have the opportunity to see countless examples of a life lived to the fullest through the Gospels that show us the only perfect life that has been lived, that of Jesus Christ. His examples through the numerous accounts given by people who witnessed and walked with him show us the way to live.

One thing about Jesus that is crucial for us to follow is His humility. Humility is defined as: a modest or low view of ones own importance. This isn’t saying to belittle yourself as much as possible but rather to consider other people’s comfort and happiness above your own. Since the Bible is our source of information and instruction on how we can live a Christ-like life we will look into it for some beautiful examples of Jesus living out humility.

The first of these examples I want to touch on is found in Matthew 9:9-13. “As Jesus went from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at a tax collectors booth. “Follow me,” he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him. While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” On hearing this Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: I desire mercy, not sacrifice. For I have not come to call the righteous, but the sinners.” A look into the context of these times shows us that everyone hated tax collectors. They were considered as criminals, and sinners. This is a perfect example of the humility of Christ because he didn’t care what others thought of him. He wasn’t worried that people would judge him for sharing meals with tax collectors and sinners, he cared more about them because by sharing a meal with these people they got to see a glimpse of who God is, not what the Pharisees portrayed God as. This passage echoes with me a lot not because my name is Matthew, but because I was and am a sinner. Before I met Christ the life I lived completely went against that of Christ’s, but He still sought me out and called me to something greater. So this aspect of humility shows us that we are not to put ourselves above “sinners” because we know we are sinners too, we have fallen short time and time again and Jesus loved us the same. Be willing to hang out with people who are looked down upon, show someone Jesus by sharing life with them just like He did.

In John 13 we see one of the most beautiful things that has ever been done. It was before Passover Festival and Jesus knew that his time on earth was dwindling down. Jesus and his disciples were eating dinner together for the last time. Jesus got up from the meal, and took off his outer clothing and wrapped it around his waist. Then he poured water into a basin and began washing his disciples feet. The Son of God who is about to die for everyone’s sins gets on his knees and washes his disciples feet, I think that should be the definition of humble. Jesus gets to Peter who knows better than most just how Holy Jesus is. At first he denies Jesus, saying Jesus shall never wash his feet. Jesus replies in verse 8 “Unless I wash your feet you, you have no part with me.” I believe that was convincing enough for Peter. In verse 12 Jesus explains what he has done.

“When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.” It might just be me but I think feet are gross, like nasty. I’m sure that the disciples feet were a lot nastier than I can imagine, and Jesus humbly, brought himself down to teach his disciples to do the same, if Jesus can do it than do it than we can do it.

Next we are taken to Luke 23:39-43. Jesus has been crucified and is hanging on the cross along with two other criminals. “One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: “Aren’t you the Messiah? Save yourself and us!” But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.” Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”

Among all of the beatings, pain, and suffering, Jesus still looks to others instead of himself. He sees this criminal hanging next to him who has showed his heart in his last hours, defending Jesus and condemning himself. In humility Jesus redeemed this man, and gave him peace and hope in knowing that when he breathes his last breath, he will not get what he deserves, he will be with Jesus in heaven.

Lastly we look to again to John. In John 21 Jesus is showing himself to his disciples just before he goes up into heaven. Jesus went to the Sea of Galilee to appear to Peter and some of his other disciples. Jesus stood by the shore and called out to the disciples who at this point do not know that it was Jesus. Jesus told them to cast their net on the right side of the boat to catch some fish because they had caught none. Upon doing this, the disciples could not even haul the net into the boat because of all of the fish they had caught.

We pick up in verse 7-14 “Then the disciple whom loved Jesus said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” As soon as Peter heard this he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water. The other disciples followed in the boat, towing the net full of fish, for they were not far from the shore, about a hundred yards. When they landed they saw a fire burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread. Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish you have caught.” So Simon Peter climbed back into the boat and dragged the net ashore. It was full of fish, 153, but even with so many the net was not torn. Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.” None of the disciples dared ask him, “Who are you?” They knew it was the Lord. Jesus came, took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish. This was now the third time Jesus appeared to his disciples after he was raised from the dead.”

This next part is the last example of the humility that we will look at. I think it is one of the most profound. First we must remember Peter denying Jesus three times before his crucifixion, something that Jesus told Peter would happen. Peter was one of Jesus’ three closest friends along with James and John. Verse 15-19 reads: “When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” “Yes Lord”, he said, “you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.” Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.” The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him a third time, “Do you love me?” He said “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!”

Three times Peter denied Jesus and with three questions Jesus reinstated Peter, and called him one final time to live for him completely, even reassuring Peter that he will die glorifying God. As we know it Peter was the rock on which Jesus built his church. This beautiful account of redemption is yet another way that Jesus, in humility, chased after the hearts of sinners and called them to a better life. The ultimate expression of humility is Jesus dying on the cross for all of us. To live for Jesus means to follow his example in humility, to make ourselves less and others more. We aren’t Jesus, we are not perfect. We cannot die for everyone’s sins or reinstate a Peter, but we can live humble lives. Choose Jesus today and tomorrow, choose humility.

Jesus Calls His First Discples

The inspiration for this post goes to Dylan Dougless aka ya boy D Dougie, one of my brothers in Christ who for better or for worse, in regards to my distraction from schoolwork, reminded me that one year ago today I was the most excited that I had ever been in my entire life. One year ago today my Work Crew session at Young Life’s Rockbridge Alum. Springs in Goshen, VA ended. I was leaving my amazing newfound community in which I had grown so close to in two short weeks. Among this community are some of the most Christ-like people that I have ever had the pleasure to encounter and call my life-long friends. It was in those two weeks that I devoted my life to Christ. One year ago today I was leaving Rockbridge, leaving my new friends, and leaving my safe paradise for what Jesus was calling me to really do, life my life for Him in a world that does the opposite. I just want to take some time to parallel this experience to a passage in the Gospel of Matthew.

Matthew 4:18-20 reads: As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. “Come follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.” At once they left their nets and followed him. Before I go further I’m going to get a little informal for the sake of not wanting anyone to miss this quote; that’s the most profound, bold, and straight baller thing that has ever happened. Picture this: This homeless guy walks up to two guys who aren’t just fishing for funzies, like they are fishermen. Their lives depend on catching those fish and selling them. It’s their profession, trade, and most likely life-long skill. And he says, hey stop doing that, you should come follow me around and I will teach you how to change people’s lives. And they didn’t say scram you bum, they literally dropped everything and followed him.

This is one of my favorite passages in the Bible, because in all seriousness it is so profound, and bold, and it’s what we are called to do as Christian’s. Yes, work crew is awesome, but when the time for that is over I was not called to wait until next summer, I was called to go tell others about Jesus because He equipped me with the knowledge and the boldness to do that. When I accepted Christ, in a way, it was like He walked up to me while I was living for myself and He said “Don’t you think you were meant for more than this? Don’t you think that your life can have more meaning? Come follow me, you’ll never be the same.” And because it was Jesus, because it was so bold, and profound, I didn’t have to think about it. I dropped everything and I followed Him. That’s what most Christ followers will tell you about their transformation from death to life. They knew that Jesus was calling them and the power in that call was not something to be ignored. I’m so grateful for Rockbridge and for those beautiful friends I made. Work Crew didn’t only change my life, it inspired this here blog you are reading. My life has never been the same, I’m so glad that I dropped my net.

Where feet may fail.

It’s raining a lot today in Greensboro and it has given me a perfect opportunity to get into the word, and to reflect on my walk with Christ thus far. I began to think about one of the hardest things that I have had to overcome to continue following Jesus. For me, the hardest thing that I had to overcome was having someone who I love dearly, and who I was poured into by continuously, someone who showed me the very nature of Christ everyday tell me that he no longer believes in what he told me was so life-giving. Earlier this year I can honestly say that hearing that news wrecked my world, although to everyone who knew of the situation I pretended like it didn’t affect me. No one knew that it left me feeling lost and defeated. It’s such a hopeless and empty feeling knowing that people we love so much and people who have experienced the beautiful life that Jesus offers them and even convinced you that Jesus is worth it, turn their backs on the faith and when in a leadership role they kind of turn their back on you.

While I was doing work crew at a Young Life camp called Frontier Ranch this summer, the camp speaker, Steve Chesney, told the staff about one of the most overlooked men in the Bible. A man named Demas.

We first read of Demas in Colossians 4:7, where Paul is tying up his letter of encouragement to the congregation in Colossae. “Tychicus will tell you all the news about me. He is a dear brother, a faithful minister and fellow servant in the Lord.  I am sending him to you for the express purpose that you may know about our circumstances and that he may encourage your hearts. He is coming with Onesimus, our faithful and dear brother, who is one of you. They will tell you everything that is happening here. My fellow prisoner Aristarchus sends you his greetings, as does Mark, the cousin of Barnabas. (You have received instructions about him; if he comes to you, welcome him.) Jesus, who is called Justus, also sends greetings. These are the only Jews among my co-workers for the kingdom of God, and they have proved a comfort to me. Epaphras, who is one of you and a servant of Christ Jesus, sends greetings. He is always wrestling in prayer for you, that you may stand firm in all the will of God, mature and fully assured. I vouch for him that he is working hard for you and for those at Laodicea and Hierapolis. Our dear friend Luke, the doctor, and Demas send greetings.” The first thing we can inquire in regards to Demas is this: Why does Paul go into detail about everyone he is with except for Demas?

Next we read about Demas in the small book of Philemon, in which Paul is writing another letter to a man named Philemon. “Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, sends you greetings.  And so do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas and Luke, my fellow workers. Once again, no attributes about Demas, no comments on his outstanding service, it’s almost as if Demas is just there. He’s with Paul but he isn’t doing anything astounding or in Paul’s perspective worth mentioning.

The last time we hear about Demas in the Bible is in 2 Timothy 4:9 in which Paul is writing, yep you guessed it, a letter to Timothy. In Paul’s conclusion to the letter we finally hear some substantial information about Demas. “Do your best to come to me quickly, for Demas, because he loved this world, has deserted me and has gone to Thessalonica.” Now we can begin to draw some conclusions in regards to Demas’ walk with Christ. Maybe he started out doing great and on fire for Jesus, what we may describe as a “Jesus high”. But slowly, the world started weighing him down, as his faith and motivation decreased Demas gave less of himself to Christ and more of himself to the world. Demas began to doubt himself, and in a confusing down spiral, he abandoned his faith and brothers and sisters in Christ completely by moving to Thessalonica. Demas knew Jesus. At some point in time, Demas was head over heels for Christ and was serving him because if he wasn’t we can probably draw the conclusion that he would have never been with Paul in the first place.

After I heard about Demas, when my session at Frontier was over, I went home and did more research on Demas. Looking into the Bible, and several commentaries. To all Christians who have lost brothers and sisters in Christ to the world, Demas acts as a biblical parallel to them.

Now having this knowledge does not really comfort me about my friends who have turned from the faith, my heart breaks for them daily. But in some way it has helped me get past it, because I now know that these things are going to happen. The world is unfortunately satan’s playground. Upon sending out the disciples in Matthew 10:16 Jesus says this “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.” This verse and many others found in the Bible candidly say that following Jesus will not be easy to any extent; rather that it will be the hardest thing that you can do, the world will be against you, as will satan and his demons. In addition in John 15:18 Jesus says this: “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.” Yes we as followers of Christ are following the hardest path that you can take in life. To deny literally the world and follow Jesus instead, to be hated, rebuked, and laughed at.

So being the hardest path to take available, and in worldly regards, offering virtually no recognition or reward it is expected that some people who taste the freedom of Christ and even come to know Him will fall away. When we allow anger in our hearts and unroot ourselves from Christ we cannot possibly hope to stand against the world and it’s temptations, let alone spiritual forces of evil who mean to counter the gospel with any means necessary.

In our walk with Christ we will witness people who we know, and love dearly, and maybe even people who have mentored us, be consumed by the world and turn their back on Christ. The bright side to this, and what I use to console myself is this:  Jesus does not nor will He ever turn His back on them. He is right there waiting for them, whispering in their ear that He still loves them, and that they can come home. I have moved past dwelling on it, I now bring them to the feet of Jesus daily in prayer. Having faith that the Lord’s plan is sovereign over mine, that what is out of my hands is in Christ’s loving, gentle, healing hands.

An adventure for two.

Well today was my first full day at UNC-Greensboro. I began the day at about 6:30 am when I realized I had lost my wallet. Two hours of frantic searching later I found it in my dorm room in a random drawer. After this happened, I went to my car after I received a phone call from a woman saying that I needed to move it. When I got there I had been issued two parking tickets both for $50, one from 8:34 last night and the other at 7:20 this morning. So it’s my first day at college I lose my wallet, and get two parking tickets.

My day was not going so great to say the least. Coming to college is a pretty big transition in life. I’m going from years of familiarity and routine to a new town, with new people, and new responsibilities. Today, if I’m being honest I have felt pretty lonely. If you’re reading this and you know me than that probably sounds super weird to you because I’m really social and love people and am not alone often. Through the stressful events of the day and the fact that I don’t know anyone here I kind of just sat in my room and wished I was home, where I could hang out with my friends and where I knew that I could park my car in my driveway and not have to worry about impending tickets. I have been blessed in the fact that it is easy for me to be dependent on something or someone. In regards to my walk with Christ this attribute about me is very helpful. When something goes wrong that is out of my control I turn to Christ almost immediately. So, when I was feeling lonely I decided that I was in need of Jesus and I opened up my Bible.

Two verses from the gospel of John stuck out to me in my reading. The first is John 14:6 :  Jesus answered, “ I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” The reason this verse stuck out to me was because for the entire day I had been going through turmoil and I was trying to make my own way, but Jesus very clearly said “I am THE way”. Notice He doesn’t say ” a way” or “one of the ways” Jesus says that He is the only way. When things go wrong I’m not meant to submit to the world, I am meant to be at Jesus’ feet and trusting in His solution, His way, not mine.

Next Jesus tells us that He is THE truth. All day I have felt so confused and in the dark about my life because I am in this new environment and haven’t made many friends yet and in extension no one that has the same ideals as me. But as a Christian I am not being called to dwell on the uncertainty of the future, I’m being called to have a faith that can move mountains, to trust in the Lord so blindly that it makes me look insane. Jesus said I am THE truth. I am the one you need to dwell on, learn from, trust in and rely on. As Christians we need to have faith in Jesus and know without a doubt that He is the truth and the only truth because if we don’t we miss crucial opportunities that Christ gives us daily to grow with Him. If we don’t have unshakable faith in Jesus than when our lives spiral out of control we have nothing solid to turn to.

Lastly Jesus says I am THE life. With the world I know being back in Elon my way of life has been drastically changed. My day-to-day activities that I am so adapted to are over and I am here at college about to start a new routine. I asked myself when I was reading this verse “what defines my life?” And when being completely honest with myself I decided that my routines, the people I knew, the house I lived in, and where I was defined my life. So once all of those things that were so familiar to me were gone I started feeling lonely. It wasn’t until opening my Bible and turning to Jesus that I felt relief from my worry and comfort, from my loneliness. Jesus said “I am THE life”. He said, I am what gives you strength, I am what keeps you going, I am what gives you identity, joy, and worth. I am what defines you. Not your roommate, not your dorm, not your sin, not your environment, just me. 

Ask yourself: What truly gives you joy and contentment? I think back to my two sessions of work crew and the times I have spent loving others, serving others and putting myself last and others first. When I am so surrounded by selfless servants of Christ that I am saturated in the Spirit of Christ. That is when I feel alive, and I intend to spend my life feeling alive.

The second verse that stuck out to me was John 16:33 : “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Since Christ died for us we are free from this world. We don’t have to follow the worlds standards because Jesus set our standards for us. Because Jesus died I don’t have to fear my future because I know that if I follow Christ wherever He brings me to will bring Him glory and the rest is irrelevant. This freedom is so…. well, freeing! Trust in Jesus and follow where He leads. This may bring you to a place where you feel uncomfortable, in my situation a new campus with new people, that’s good. Jesus dying for us means that we have peace in Him, because we know that if He was big enough conquer the grave and put sin to death than we know that he is big enough to get us where we need to go.

Challenge yourself to put the Kingdom before your comfort.  When you feel lonely and lost, Jesus just wants to show you that He can do it better. When you live your life like Jesus really is the way, the truth, and the life, your uncertain future can turn into an adventure that you and your Constant Companion, Jesus are meant to unravel together.

 

A Year In Review

A year ago today I walked into the dining hall at a Young Life camp called Rockbridge Alum Springs. I didn’t know any of the people there or even why I was there but three days into my two week session Jesus met me where I was and made me His child. In three days it will be one year since I’ve been following Christ. It hasn’t been easy, I’ve messed up more times than I can count, but for the past year I have turned to Christ with my burdens instead of carrying them myself, I have trusted Him when things weren’t looking great at all, and I have experienced what a true community of people chasing after Jesus can accomplish. So blessed to have spent August 6th through August 20th in 2012 with a group of fearless pursuers of Christ. I’m thankful that I have been changed by the ministry of Young Life and the spectacular people in it. The past year has shown me that I want to give my life to ministry and that I never want to live a second without Jesus again.

To each and every person from Rockbridge: Thank you so much for showing me in 3 short days what I was missing. Thank you for being driven by your love for Jesus and for making me want it more each day, I love you all!

Where Do I Go From Here

I often find myself blogging on the days that I feel as if  I’ve been living in a rut. When I realize I have taken my eyes off of Jesus and let the world and it’s troubles consume me. For the past few months I have only improved in digging ruts to stick myself in for a while to try and fix things myself. The world is full of troubles that scream for our attention. Whether it’s finding a roommate for college or trying to organize my ever changing summer agenda, I find myself completely neglecting the One who I dedicated my life to. But thankfully where I fail the Lord does not. I woke up this morning in more than one way.

Romans is a super encouraging book in The Bible. It gives  Christians instructions on how to live their lives through the Spirit. It also tells us how to approach the world. “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will. ” (Romans 12:2 NIV).

Our minds are renewed through spending quality time with Christ every day. Yes, every day. This is not a quick process. As humans our minds need to be renewed daily. We need to be constantly loving, hoping in, and counting on Christ every day. It is then that the confusion melts away and we realize that we are not of this world. We begin to see the world through the Spirit’s perspective. It is at this point that God’s will changes from an intricate puzzle to a tangible adventure, an adventure that makes everyday worth living.

C.S. Lewis skillfully illustrates the idea of not being of the world in his book Mere Christianity. (You should read Mere Christianity)

“If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.” – C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Lazarus.

My senior year of high school has not turned out the way that I envisioned it to say the least. I never expected that Jesus would capture my heart at Work Crew over the summer, nor did I anticipate how much He would change my life in a matter of months. Now, as I am looking at schools to further my education at I am no longer deciding for myself, for I no longer live to satisfy my own will. I feel that I must reluctantly admit that I am still afraid of where I’ll end up. I am afraid that I will misinterpret what I believe to be as the Lord leading me. Am I really being called to full time ministry? How can I possibly do this at Belmont without the finances to support a $36,000 a year school? Frustrated and tired, I turned to the Word for guidance.

I want the kind of faith that the man with leprosy had in Matthew 8. “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.” Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!” I read this and think about just how spectacular, how amazing our Savior is. This leper, this person rejected by society, still has faith in Jesus. I cannot imagine the pain he must have been in every day, not to mention being shunned by society for a disease he could not control. But he still knew without a doubt that Jesus could heal him. The same God that made that leper made me, and I can say pretty confidently that I have grown up in drastically better circumstances than this man did. All of my good fortune has come from God, yet I still had doubts that He would take care of me.

As I finish my application to Belmont University in Nashville, TN, I still cannot possibly fathom how the Lord could make it work. Just as these doubts began to consume my mind once again, none other than the Lord burst through my thoughts and sent one name reverberating off the walls of my mind, ‘Lazarus.’ Once again I prayed for forgiveness for my lack of faith. I felt like Peter after the rooster crowed. How many times must the Lord teach me that He can be trusted, that He can do anything. “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.” (Ephesians 3:20 NIV)

Okay so define immeasurably. Let me break it down for you; Martha’s brother Lazarus has been dead for four days. When Jesus heard about this he decided to turn around and go back to Judea. I should also mention that very recently many Jews in Judea tried to stone Him. So Jesus who loved Martha, her sister Mary, and their dead brother Lazarus went to comfort them. Both of them wept for their dead brother and said “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not be dead.”(John 11:21 NIV). Seeing these women break down caused Jesus to weep. Yes, Jesus, the son of God, wept. Moved by the Spirit, Jesus decided to do something. He inquired about the burial place of Lazarus and instructed them to roll away the stone that sealed his grave.

“Lazarus, come out!” The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.” (John 11:43-44 NIV) WHAT? Jesus literally raised a man from the dead. Death is almost the only absolute thing in this world. Everyone has to die in their earthly bodies at some point, this is such a solid truth. So Jesus did immeasurably more than Martha, Mary, and his disciples thought he could. And I had doubts that because of a lack of money, I might be unable to follow where the Lord is leading me. This is the same God that constructed mountains, and through belief in his Son gave man the faith to move them. When I think about the power of this almighty God my doubts melt away and a solid faith is all that remains. I know that if I trust in the Lord, He will do immeasurably more than all I can ask or imagine, including getting me where I need to be for school.

My Testimony

I grew up in a Christian home, for as long as I can remember my parents taught me about Jesus. I was baptized at the age of eight, and I had no earthly clue what it meant. I did it because my parents told me to. My middle school years were filled with mindless church goings and youth groups on Wednesday nights. None of these things pushed me towards Christ, but merely gave me history lessons. I felt rejected throughout my middle school career, and kept to myself a lot. My freshman year of high school is where I would say my story begins. I looked at high school as an opportunity; I was going to get as popular as I could, to make up for the lonely times in middle school. This year I would be cool, and I would do whatever it took to do so. However, I also began going to Young Life my freshman year. It seemed that through my darkness, Jesus would use a ministry and the people in it to combat Satan’s plans for me.

The first football game of the season at my high school was a chilly Friday night. I honestly cannot remember who I went with, but I do remember who I met. My friend Kohnor Gregory led me toward the bleachers and introduced me to a guy who would change my life. “Hey Colin, this is Kerri Weatherly’s little brother!”, Kohnor exclaimed to a man I did not know. A goofy guy with glasses turned around, shook my hand, and asked me what my name was. I could already tell that this guy was different; first of all this guy’s not in high school, why is he at this game? I didn’t see Colin until a couple of weeks later in the garage of Evan King’s house. My first Young Life club is a very vivid memory to me, as I had found something there that was so different from any other youth group I had ever attended. I remember laughing harder than I ever had, and singing Light The Fire, but most of all, I remember feeling accepted. At the end of club I saw the same guy who I met at the game. Colin Campbell talked about Jesus, then offered to take me to Wendy’s. I began to know Colin as my Young Life Leader. Over the next two years I went to Young Life and Campaigners every week, and me and Colin grew closer as well. He knew my struggles, and my sins. He would talk to me whenever I wanted, even if he knew I was just telling him what I thought he wanted to hear. Colin was not a youth leader to me, he was my friend. It was clear from the start that Colin did not consider being a Young Life leader as a job, but as something he enjoyed doing. He built real, genuine, and meaningful relationships with us. Colin loved me because Jesus loved me. I was accepted, because Jesus accepted me.

I went to week long camp my freshman year at Windy Gap. I remember hurting my knee during the obstacle course and not being able to go on the hike the next day. I think Colin looked forward to going on that hike, but he stayed with me the next day instead of going. A college student, hung out with sophomores in high school, and devoted his time to loving us and being there for us. I can remember my sophomore year being with some guys in my grade, and with Colin as we sprinted through the campus of Elon University, which was Colin’s school. I don’t remember where we were going or why we were running, but I remember being filled with pure joy. I now look back and think of all the people who had seen Colin before around campus, and then saw him again as he bolted by with five sixteen year old guys chasing behind him, they probably thought he was a pretty weird guy! Young Life in my first two years of high school had given me a better understanding of what it meant to follow Jesus, but I never gave Him the time of day. I would pray every once in a while, go to club, go to campaigners, talk with Colin, but I wouldn’t give it up for Jesus. I had worked hard for my popularity, I was finally cool. Isn’t that what I wanted? I didn’t want to stop drinking so that I could follow Jesus. The summer of my sophomore year came to a sorrowful end as Colin Campbell was graduating from Elon, and moving on to live his life in Seattle. The last night Colin was with us I remember being in his room at the Humphrey’s house. We were sitting on his bed and I told him I was sorry for falling short. He looked at me and peacefully told me that he had no worries about me and my future, no worries that I would one day understand, that one day I would take up my Cross and follow Jesus.

My junior year of high school was filled with more parties, more mistakes, and resulted in me growing further away from Jesus. I clung to my worldly desires and ignored the fact that I felt more empty every day. Colin, who I had grown so close with was gone, and two new leaders took his place. Steven and Chandler, the new leaders, just weren’t Colin. Young Life club was still fun, and hilarious, and I still looked forward to it, but I didn’t have room in my life to trust my new leaders. They were truly great leaders, I had just grown too attached to Colin. As my junior year progressed I did grow closer with Steven but Jesus still took the back seat in my life, if not the trunk. I did work crew training my junior year. I did it because my sister did it, and she said she had fun. Growing closer to Jesus was the furthest thing from my mind, I thought at the very least it would look good on a job application. Rockbridge Alum. Springs was on the bottom of my list for camps that I wanted to do work crew at. It was in Virginia which was just too close! I wanted to go to Lake Champion in New York, or Lost Canyon in Arizona. My parents told me that they would not pay for a plane ticket for me to fly to work crew. So my only options were camps that were within driving distance. This made me so angry! If I was going to give two weeks of my summer to volunteer work, shouldn’t I be able to go where I want to?

My parents wouldn’t give, so I signed up for third session at Rockbridge Alum. Springs in Goshen, Virginia. One week before work crew I almost backed out because my best friend had just gotten back and had hated it. I finally forced myself to go, I thought to myself, ‘it can’t be that bad, my session is only two weeks, I can leave if I hate it!’ I arrived at Rockbridge on August 6th, 2012. After registering at the front office of Rockbridge, and saying my goodbyes to my parents, I headed to the dining hall. I entered into a room full of teenagers who were all on work crew. They all were talking to each other, and laughing, as if they had known each other their entire lives. I sat at a table full of guys and introduced myself, but I could tell that they all had something I didn’t. They all had a certain joy about them. We slowly learned each others names, and immediately began getting assigned to our jobs. My job got switched from pits to being a server. The first couple of days at work crew I thought I had made a huge mistake going there. The work left me feeling drained and exhausted. But these guys and girls next to me were doing the same work yet they were singing, laughing, and had more energy than I could fathom. They were doing their jobs for something greater than themselves, and they knew it. Although I tried to ignore it, I knew that I couldn’t do this without God. I was afraid to put my life in God’s hands, I was afraid that I wouldn’t be cool anymore, afraid that none of my friends would like me if I stopped drinking so I could follow Jesus. I wanted to be cool, I wanted the approval of everyone around me,  but more than anything I wanted what all of those kids had. I wanted to have an overflowing joy that affected others around me, and I knew that Jesus could give it to me. So I lowered my defenses to Him, and trusted. I prayed like I never had before, and begged for comfort. I was desperate because I was exhausted, and had no purpose for my work. I had not experienced the Living Water. On the third day of work crew, I trusted the Lord throughout the day and it was better than the ones before. By the end of the day, all of the work crew were gathered in the lobby of House Mountain to worship. Luke Saunders, the Outdoor Crew Boss was leading the music. He played ‘Set A Fire’ by Will Reagan & United Pursuit Band. Everyone in the room was singing the song wholeheartedly. I had never experienced Jesus so personally, and so magnificently as I did during that song. I hung in the spectacular presence of Jesus and lost myself for what seemed like hours. Jesus poured over me and in that moment it was only me and Him. Tears spilled over my cheeks, as I closed my eyes. There was a wordless agreement between us, that I was His, and He was mine, that I no longer had to crave acceptance, I no longer had to live an empty life. I stood there with my head buzzing like crazy at the indescribable encounter I had with the Lord, I had experienced a high I would never find in any substance. I was overflowing with the grace of my loving Savior. I called Colin and Steven and told them of my spectacular movement from death to Life.

It was in that moment when I finally understood what Colin had talked about for two years. I finally understood why he ran with us through the campus of Elon University, why he missed that hike at Windy Gap, and why he chose to hangout with high schoolers instead of living the normal college life. Colin wanted me to live forever, he wanted me to know that there was true happiness waiting for me at the foot of the Cross. The rest of my work crew session consisted of growing with my miraculous heavenly Father, and doing so alongside of a group of the most amazing people around the United States and even Scotland! These people accepted me for who I was, and I would have been perfectly okay with living at Rockbridge, with those people, for the rest of my life. God however, had bigger plans for me. I went home an utterly and completely different person, and began my senior year of high school as a senior leader in Young Life, I was finally beginning to live the way that God intended me to. I arrived at the feet of Jesus with only my broken self to offer, and I left Rockbridge with a love that would never let me go. So it turned out that I didn’t go to Lake Champion because that’s not where God needed me to be. God needed me to be at Rockbridge. God needed me to hear Set A Fire from Luke Saunders, He needed me to watch Gordon’s Giblets where I laughed through my tiredness, He needed me to experience Kelly Miller interrupting a testimony to kick down the door of the lobby yelling House Mountain, He needed me to get stung by a european queen wasp, He needed me to hear Thomas Gibbons playing For The Moments I Feel Faint on the guitar, He needed me to laugh with Jesse Munson,  He needed me to hear Emily Keener singing Abba, He needed me to talk to Joel Nicholas about Myers Briggs, and He needed me to see Colton Hasting’s feet. But most of all He needed me to surrender my life to Him, to stop living for myself, and to become a fisher of men. I’ll end my testimony with Galatians 2:20.  “I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me.”

Like an Avalanche

I had just overcome my procrastination when a particular song started playing from my iTunes. The song Like an Avalanche, by Hillsong United, put me face-to-face with the infinite grace that Jesus effuses into me daily. I seem to always be on the receiving end of grace, and rarely the giving. I think back to the last time I did not try to show grace, this was during my Work Crew session this past summer, at Rockbridge in Goshen, VA. My session had four days left, and I had given my life to Christ on the third day of my two week session. The servers had just finished setting up the dining hall for dinner, and I stepped outside to call my mom. After the initial conversation that included the ‘how are you’, and ‘what’s going on at home’, my mother set a different tone to the conversation.

She told me that the computer at home had messed up, and everything on it had been deleted. It was an accident on her part, and it was not a big deal. However, at the time, I was angry. My graduation project was on that computer! How could she just erase everything on it? Frustrated, I hung up the phone after giving my mother hell for an accident, that was not a major issue in the long run. I went back to serve dinner, I thought about calling my mother and telling her that I was sorry and that I would be able to fix it, and to tell her that she should not feel bad about it, but I never got around to it. By the next morning I had already forgotten about the incident and had slept quite soundly the night before. My mother’s night was quite different than mine. Before I say what happened, you first must know that my mother has a heart condition. When she gets overly upset it is hard to calm her down, and her heart starts beating irregularly and at unsafe rates. With that said, I was in the lobby along with the rest of the work crew staff. We were about to be sent out to read our daily devotional, when a call disrupted the early morning meeting.

The call was for me. A women on the phone said to me “Matthew, your father is on the other line. I think you will want to talk to him.” The second I heard my fathers voice, I could tell that something was not right. He asked me if I was at a place where I could talk, surrounded by the whole work crew staff I told him I could. The next words that came out of his mouth completely shattered me. “After you talked to mom last night, she got really upset about ruining your project. She thought she had hurt you so badly, and we could not calm her down.” My father was barely able to put out words, as he told me that she was taken to the emergency room, and that he had been trying to reach me all night. As tears filled my eyes and I started choking on my own words everyone in the room quietly left, except for the work crew boss, and a few kids that were also on work crew. My father told me that it wasn’t my fault, and that he didn’t want me to feel bad. The doctors had just been able to calm her down, however her heart had been in a very dangerous situation all night. I could not stop crying. This was all of my fault, my mother had almost died, because she thought that she had hurt me. Only because of my over-reaction and pathetic anger. Satan took this opportunity to pound me with guilt, and grief. I began to question my newfound faith, almost deciding that I was not worthy of Jesus. Rob, the work crew boss told me that I could take some time alone, to calm down before I came to the dining hall to work. I sat on the same couch for an hour, letting Satan rip me to pieces.

I cannot put into words how utterly and completely worthless I felt in that hour. One amazing thing about Jesus, is that he can break through the most sorrowful and ungodly places to pull his children out of the dark. I began to pray, crying still, asking for Jesus to forgive me and to comfort me. Satan was instantly shut off from my mind, as Jesus not figuratively, but literally lifted up my head. A surge of what I can only describe as amazing grace filled my body and numbed my pain. I began to reflect as Jesus pieced me back together. In that moment I realized that my parents have many Christ-like qualities in them, one of which is grace. I thought about all of the times I had disrespected my parents, told them I hated them, told them I couldn’t wait to graduate from high school and leave home, and at the end of the day my parents still loved me. My parents have always loved me, even when I’ve been at my worst, just as Jesus has. But where was I when my mother needed a speck of grace? I spat in her face, and caused her to go to the emergency room.  This was a pivotal moment in my life, and it changed me forever. I realized that it was time to start giving grace back to everyone, and I began to understand Jesus on a greater level. I’m caught up in grace like an avalanche every day. Jesus Christ is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I look forward to writing more about my beautiful encounters with Him.